“They love us for their own sakes, and we love them for love’s sake.”
Pelagia voices a painful asymmetry: what feels like self-giving love to one person may be experienced as self-interest or possession from the other side.
Source details
Hypatia — or New Foes with an Old Face, Chapter XXIV, “Lost Lambs,” Project Gutenberg #6308. Pelagia tells Philammon that men love women for their own sakes while women love “for love’s sake” during a distressed reflection on betrayal, dependence and the absent Amal. It is fictional dialogue in Kingsley’s historical novel, not a universal claim about men and women.