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We have to forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to become like other people.
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“We have to forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to become like other people.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

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Source
Counsels and Maxims
Date
1851
English wording
T. Bailey Saunders — Translator · from German
Meaning

Meaning of “We have to forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in…”

Conformity is described as costly when fitting in requires surrendering too much individuality, judgment, or temperament.

Source context

Where does it come from?

Counsels and Maxims, in Schopenhauer’s discussion of society and individuality; T. Bailey Saunders translation.

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Be YourselfCommunityConfidence Quotes About Ability & Self-TrustIdentityIndependenceLovePhilosophySelf LoveSelf RelianceSelf TrustSelf-Respect Quotes About Dignity & BoundariesShortThought-Provoking Quotes That Invite ReflectionSolitude
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The noble soul has reverence for itself.
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“The noble soul has reverence for itself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche · Beyond Good and Evil · 1886
Meaning & context

The line connects nobility with an inward standard of dignity rather than dependence on applause, rank, or approval from other people.

Source details

Beyond Good and Evil, section 287, Helen Zimmern public-domain translation, Project Gutenberg #4363. The represented witness prints “THE NOBLE SOUL HAS REVERENCE FOR ITSELF” in capitals; the frozen catalog keeps ordinary capitalization. Nietzsche’s claim belongs to his rank / nobility argument and is not an evidence-based rule of self-esteem.

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Otherwise, a man is the slave of what other people are pleased to think.
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“Otherwise, a man is the slave of what other people are pleased to think.”

Arthur Schopenhauer · The Wisdom of Life · 1851
Meaning & context

Dependence on approval can turn other people’s judgments into a form of control; self-respect requires allowing outside opinion to inform rather than govern one’s sense of worth.

Source details

The Wisdom of Life; the sentence appears in Schopenhauer’s criticism of giving excessive weight to reputation and social opinion.

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The only possible society is oneself.
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“The only possible society is oneself.”

Oscar Wilde · An Ideal Husband · 1895
Voice: Fictional character · Lord Goring
Meaning & context

The comic exaggeration makes self-company part of Wilde’s joke about society while still centering comfort with oneself.

Source details

An Ideal Husband, Act III; Lord Goring tells Phipps “The only possible society is oneself” immediately before the lifelong-romance epigram. Verified against the public-domain Wikisource Act III transcription and Project Gutenberg #885; the line remains dandyish comic character speech rather than uncomplicated authorial doctrine.

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That her hand may be given with dignity, she must be able to stand alone.
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“That her hand may be given with dignity, she must be able to stand alone.”

Margaret Fuller · Woman in the Nineteenth Century · 1845
Meaning & context

A relationship entered from the ability to stand independently can preserve dignity more fully than one made necessary by the inability to exist outside it.

Source details

Woman in the Nineteenth Century; Fuller connects the dignity of freely giving oneself in relationship with the prior ability to stand independently.

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Remember that thou art a man and do not degrade thyself: this is self-respect.
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“Remember that thou art a man and do not degrade thyself: this is self-respect.”

Paul Janet · Elements of Morals · 1884 English translation
Meaning & context

Janet treats human dignity as a floor below which humility should not push a person: recognizing weakness does not require degrading oneself or surrendering self-respect.

Source details

Elements of Morals, Chapter XIV, section 165, printed page 296, Caroline Rollin Corson’s 1884 English translation, Project Gutenberg #37016. “Remember that thou art a man and do not degrade thyself: this is self-respect” appears in the same paragraph as Janet’s paired reminder against vain pride, making self-respect and humility complementary parts of his moral argument rather than generic affirmation copy.

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