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’Tis my opinion that a man should lend himself to others, and only give himself to himself.
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“’Tis my opinion that a man should lend himself to others, and only give himself to himself.”

Michel de Montaigne

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Source
Essays of Montaigne — Book III
Date
1588
English wording
Charles Cotton — Translator · from French
Meaning

Meaning of “’Tis my opinion that a man should lend…”

Montaigne distinguishes participating in other people’s affairs from surrendering one’s whole inward life to them: engagement can be generous without allowing every external demand to possess the will.

Source context

Where does it come from?

Essays of Montaigne, Book III, Chapter X, “Of Managing the Will,” Charles Cotton translation; Project Gutenberg Volume 18 #3598 / Complete Essays #3600. Montaigne describes lending oneself to external affairs without allowing them to possess the whole will.

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Be YourselfBoundariesCalmDiscipline Quotes About Habits, Practice & ConsistencyIdentityIndependenceInner PeaceLifeLife AdviceLife LessonsPatiencePeaceRelationshipSelf RelianceSelf TrustSelf-Control Quotes About Restraint & JudgmentSelf-Respect Quotes About Dignity & BoundariesShortWisdom Quotes About Judgment & Living WellWisdom About Life
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Have confidence in yourself, and believe that you are proceeding on the right path.
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“Have confidence in yourself, and believe that you are proceeding on the right path.”

Seneca · Of Peace of Mind · 49–62 CE
Meaning & context

Seneca makes self-confidence a condition of steadiness: tranquility depends partly on trusting a course that has been examined rather than continually surrendering judgment to outside pressure.

Source details

Of Peace of Mind, section II, Aubrey Stewart translation in Minor Dialogues Together with the Dialogue on Clemency (1889), cross-checked against Project Gutenberg #64576 and the complete Wikisource transcription. Seneca tells Serenus to have confidence in himself and believe he is proceeding on the right path while defining the steady condition he calls peace of mind.

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Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.
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“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.”

Epictetus · Enchiridion · c. 125
Meaning & context

Peace is sought by aligning desire with reality rather than requiring reality to obey preference, a central Stoic distinction between response and circumstance.

Source details

Enchiridion, section 8; Epictetus applies Stoic acceptance to events outside personal control.

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It is above all things necessary to form a true estimate of oneself.
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“It is above all things necessary to form a true estimate of oneself.”

Seneca · Of Peace of Mind · 49–62 CE
Meaning & context

A realistic estimate of one’s abilities and limits supports both confidence and humility, reducing the instability that comes from either self-contempt or exaggerated self-belief.

Source details

Of Peace of Mind, section VI, Aubrey Stewart translation (1889), cross-checked against Project Gutenberg #64576 and Wikisource. The sentence opens Seneca’s advice to form a true estimate of oneself before matching undertakings to one’s actual abilities and temperament.

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Be cheerful also, and seek not external help nor the tranquillity which others give.
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“Be cheerful also, and seek not external help nor the tranquillity which others give.”

Marcus Aurelius · Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus · c. 170
Meaning & context

Marcus places steadiness inside the governing mind rather than in reassurance supplied by other people, emphasizing an internal source of composure while still writing within a larger Stoic ethic of social duty.

Source details

Meditations, Book III, section 5, George Long translation; Project Gutenberg #6920/#15877. The sentence immediately precedes “A man then must stand erect, not be kept erect by others,” making the inward-reliance context explicit.

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